I used to think that my life was supposed to end up like all of the romantic comedies I loved so much—I’d meet my guy, something funny and a little dramatic would happen, and then we’d profess our love for one another in the middle of a parking lot in the pouring rain. Or he’d kiss me in a gazebo. It would be perfect.
Well, I didn’t even get my first kiss until I was 27 years old, and it happened at a track while I was wearing running clothes and a giant red bow in my hair with stickers in my hand and a stopwatch and whistle around my neck. That entire event is a story in itself. And that guy, much to my dismay at the time, didn’t end up being the one for me.
I’m 33 now, and I’ve still never had a boyfriend or even been on a real date. For years, I thought that something was wrong with me—I thought that guys didn’t like me (and never would) because I wasn’t pretty enough or funny enough or smart enough or [enter an adjective here] enough. Simply put, I never felt like I was enough. So I did everything I could to make sure that the guys I had feelings for never knew, because I figured they would never be interested in me.
It took way longer than I would have liked for me to realize that those feelings of not being enough were all lies. Friends, I truly hope you never feel that way. Please know now and every day for the rest of your lives that you are enough. Despite what Jerry Maguire made us all believe so many years ago (or maybe you’re way too young for that movie and have no clue what I’m talking about—thankfully, there’s Google), no other person can ever actually complete you.
For the past five or so years, my goal in life has been to live boldly. I don’t ever want to let fear get in the way of, well, anything. Does that mean that the things I want always happen? Good gosh, no. I stood face to face with a man I adored and poured my heart out to him as he basically told me in different words that none of that mattered compared to his career.
Living boldly doesn’t always mean you get the happy ending you’re hoping for, but I fully believe that it means living well.
Please don’t ever change who you are because you think you’re not good enough, and please don’t ever let fear stop you from being bold and doing the things you know you’re meant to do. You’re a lot stronger than you think—just like our soul sister Mariah, you can make it through the rain.
You may not be starring in your life’s own version of a romcom, and that’s OK. We all have different stories and timelines. Don’t rush yours. If I weren’t single right now, I might not be pursuing the creation of Tower318 with Ashley—and I don’t want to think about that.
Trust that you are where you are for a specific purpose, and boldly march on, sister.