While I would love to be able to tell you that you’re going to meet the love of your life exactly when you’d like to, you’ll both fall in crazy love with each other, and your life will resemble your favorite romcom, that’s simply not the case.
Whether we like it or not, many of us will have our hearts broken—maybe even more than once—and then have to go through that rough time that follows when you might cry more tears than you thought any set of eyes could contain. There’s a lot of pain involved in heartache (obviously), and sometimes the hurt you feel might cause you to think that the reason you’re going through it is because there’s something wrong with you.
Sister, erase that thought from your mind immediately.
I spent far too many years thinking that I simply wasn’t good enough for certain guys after they rejected me or led me on, only to leave me standing with a shattered heart and tears bottling up, waiting for the right moment to explode all at once, leaving me puffy-eyed and exhausted. The truth is that it hurts more than words can describe to realize that someone you deeply care about doesn’t care about you in the same way or treats you in a way that no person truly in love ever would.
Have you ever had a huge crush on someone—or maybe even been in love—and hoped and prayed that the two of you would end up together? And those soaring hopes in your heart came to a halting crash when you found out that the guy you adore so much didn’t return those feelings? Or maybe you’ve been in a relationship with someone, and it didn’t turn out to be the fairy tale you always wanted?
The heart is a lot more fragile than we think.
What I’ve learned during those heart-wrenching seasons is that it’s far too easy to fall into a pit of self-destructive thoughts. When you’ve been hurt by someone, it can become a natural default to ask yourself the question that I hate to admit I’ve muttered aloud too many times: What’s wrong with me?
My friend, if you’re in that same boat, please look in the mirror and say this to yourself ASAP: There is nothing wrong with you.
Just because someone doesn’t feel the same way as you or does something to hurt you doesn’t mean that you are any less valued or worthy. It simply means that he wasn’t the right guy for you. It might take you weeks or months or even years to get through the broken heart you’re dealing with, but you can use that time to focus on you. I’ve always been very independent, but those periods of heartache have taught me to be more dependent on Jesus and His unconditional and unrelenting love—a love that would never shatter my heart and then walk away, forcing me to clean up the thousands of tiny pieces that were left behind.
You are valued. You are loved. And you matter. And none of that changes simply because one person in this entire world doesn’t see how special you are.
You can also use those seasons when the hurt won’t seem to go away to spend time doing the things you love, hanging out with the people in your life who encourage you and make you laugh and smile, and letting yourself experience new adventures. You’re worth the investment to let yourself grow and find joy in the midst pain.
And remember that you are enough just as you are—no broken heart can ever change that.
Have you ever had your heart broken? How did you get through that tough time? Share in the comments how you coped—it may help others going through the same thing.