Choose Your Own Path in Your Dating Life


With all of the dating apps now available at the fingertips of all of the single folks trying to find their lobsters (it’s a
Friends reference, for those who don’t know), the ways of meeting people and falling in love have certainly changed.

While the many available dating apps have certainly proven to be successful for a countless amount of couples, they’re not for everyone. Just because something works for your friend doesn’t mean it will work for you, too.

If I’m being completely honest, I haven’t really liked my experiences with dating apps (and I haven’t tried the online dating sites). Yes, I have friends who have ended up getting married as a result of using them, and I couldn’t be happier for my people finding love. But I can’t say that I’ve been a huge fan of them for me. It’s kind of like studying habits or workout routines—what’s best for you isn’t always best for everyone else.

If you try the dating apps and enjoy getting to meet people that way and like the idea of getting to know someone through the chat features before going on a date, that’s wonderful—you keep doing you, sister! They are absolutely great ways to find the person you’re looking for to be your man. But there is also nothing wrong with not going through the online dating sites and apps to fall in love.

I’ve tried a handful of the apps, and I haven’t been one of the fortunate ones. The guys I talked to ended up being fellas who were clearly meant to be with other women who aren’t me, and I hope they find their lobsters soon. My dream way of finding love is to be running or walking through a park or at the beach, and a guy throws a football or Frisbee that accidentally hits me. He runs over to see if I’m OK, and sparks fly. (Yes, it’s possible that I’ve watched one too many romcoms.) I realize that it might not happen this way, but a girl can dream.

Because this is a bit far-fetched and hasn’t come close to happening yet, I’ve had more than one friend tell me that I need to keep giving online dating a chance or that I need to do this or need to do that. You know what I really need to do? I need to do what’s best for me—and you need to do what’s best for you. If you had multiple bad experiences with guys you met on Bumble or Match.com, but you still want to keep at it with the dating apps, then keep at it. If you want to join a social club or sports group to try to meet someone that way, then sign up. If you want to find your lobster more organically, then maybe start hanging out at Starbucks or Whole Foods more often.

I know that a lot of girls want to meet nice guys at church—and many do happen to find their husbands that way—but it’s sometimes easier said than done (and it’s also not exactly the focus you should have when you’re at church, anyway). If that happens, great! If it doesn’t, don’t let searching for your soulmate be the sole reason you’re going to church.

There’s no one surefire method to find your lobster. You might even have to go through a few bad crabs who break your heart to get to him, but it’s important that you do it your way. And it’s even more important that you trust God’s timing through it all. Using dating apps and online sites doesn’t mean that you’re not trusting Him to provide—it simply means that it might be His way of bringing you two together.

Follow your heart, and don’t let others tell you what to do. After all, it’s your dating life, and when you and your lobster are meant to be, there’s nothing that will stop you two from finding each other.

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