Life can start to feel a little lonely when the majority of your friends start dating, getting engaged, and then walking down the aisle toward the men who make them swoon. But just because your friends are all becoming one half of couples doesn’t mean that you have to feel left out and sorry for yourself.
Being in a season (or what seems like a lifetime) of singleness can actually be a true blessing, whether or not it seems like it at the time. There is an entire world out there for you to explore and a countless amount of people you can meet along the way.
While the list below definitely doesn’t include every benefit to flying solo, it hopefully provides some encouragement and a reminder that you certainly don’t have to be in a relationship with someone to have a good time—even at events that are full of mostly couples.
You don’t have to consult with anyone.
You can pretty much do whatever you want when you want to, and you don’t have to coordinate your plans around those of a significant other. Decide last minute that you want to go on a quick weekend getaway or road trip? Go for it. Craving Chinese food tonight? Get it, girl. Your schedule is your schedule, and you don’t have to double-check with someone else to make sure that you’re still getting in that QT with your man. Sure, it will be nice eventually to be able to share your experiences with someone else, but for now, embrace the time you have to maintain a lifestyle that goes with the flow of what you’re feeling and what you want to do.
You save a lot of money on holidays.
One thing that I’ve always appreciated about being single is the fact that I don’t have to worry about what to get someone on Valentine’s Day and all of the other gift-giving holidays. I’m sure that I will love getting presents for my main squeeze when I actually have one (except for on Valentine’s Day because I will never celebrate that one), but my wallet and I are currently very appreciative in this solitary season.
You can still dance.
The dance floor was created to be filled with people busting out their greatest (and not-so-great) moves. Even when those slow songs come on, don’t feel like you have to use those ballads as excuses to go to the bathroom, stand in the corner, or pretend that you need a break or that you have something in your shoe. You can dance all by yourself during slow songs—I do it all of the time, even at wedding receptions. It’s freeing. Get out there and twirl, girl. Hopefully one day you’ll have someone to sway with you and spin you around the dance floor during the slower songs, but until then, let yourself enjoy the songs that you want to enjoy.
You develop a unique independence.
Being single allows you to become much more self-sufficient, especially when you actually do many of your life activities alone and not always in groups or with your friends. It’s good when you can learn and practice some basic skills—cooking (or, in my case, being able to use a microwave most efficiently), changing a tire, putting together furniture, seeing a movie by yourself, eating out alone, managing your finances—without the help of anyone else. Those things will make you that much more ready when you finally do stumble upon the man you’ve been hoping and praying for all along.
You learn more about yourself.
The more you know about yourself, the better you’re able to let yourself be known by someone else. A season of singleness is a great time to discover even more of your preferences and tendencies as well as what exactly you want in a relationship and what types of qualities you want in a guy.
You learn to love yourself for the person you are.
Yes, you can still love yourself when you’re in love with someone, but being single allows you to invest in yourself more than you ever have before. It’s a really good time to develop more of an appreciation for the qualities that make you you. I spent far too many years thinking that I was single because there was something wrong with me, but that was a lie that I shouldn’t have let myself believe. The things that make me the woman I am are not bad things, and someone will appreciate them someday and love me for all of my quirks and in spite of my faults.
We all have different timelines, and just because you aren’t on the same page as your friends might be in terms of relationships and experience doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you or that you can’t enjoy life as a single woman. You already have so much going for you, and you can continue to pursue your own passions without worrying about what you don’t have in life.
You’ll find the right person when you’re supposed to, but don’t miss out on all of the wonderful opportunities in front of you because you’re too busy squinting far off into the future.